Smart Dude Fairy Tales

One day, a farmer took out his well-made hazelwood walking stick from the corner of the house and said to his wife, “Terina, I am going on a long journey and will not be back for three days.

While I am away, if the cattle dealer comes to buy our three cows, you must hurry and negotiate the price with him, but it must not be less than 200 silver dollars. Remember? Never.”

　　”God knows, don’t worry,” the woman replied. “I will take care of it.”

　　”You, you,” the farmer warned worriedly, “you broke your head when you were a child, and you still have the sequelae. I warn you, if you do something stupid, I will paint your back with black and purple. But not with oil paint, I promise you, but with this crutch in my hand, and the color won’t fade for a whole year, and I mean it.” After saying that, the farmer set off.

　　The next morning, the cattle dealer came. The farmer’s wife didn’t say much to him. After he looked at the cattle and learned the price, he said: “I agree to accept this price. To be honest, they have to pay this price. I will take the cattle away now.”

　　He untied the reins and drove the cow out of the pen, but before he left the yard, the peasant woman grabbed his sleeve and said, “You must pay me two hundred silver dollars now, otherwise I can’t let the cow go.”

　　”Of course,” answered the man, “but unfortunately I forgot to put on my money-belt. Never mind, I will give you security for my payment. I will take two of the oxen and leave one behind, and you will have a good security.”

　　The peasant woman thought there was a lot of money to be made here, so she let the cattle dealer take the cattle away. She thought to herself: “If Hans knew that I handled this matter so well, he would be so happy!”

　　On the third day, the farmer returned home as scheduled and asked as soon as he entered the door whether the cow had been sold.

　　”Yes, of course, my dear Hans,” answered the woman, “and they were sold for two hundred silver dollars, just as you said. They were not worth so much, and the man took the cattle away without making any objection.”

　　”Where’s the money?” asked the farmer.

　　”Oh, I haven’t got the money yet,” answered the woman; “he happened to have forgotten his belt to carry it in, but he will bring it soon, and he has left a large mortgage.”

　　”What collateral?” the farmer asked again.

　　”One of the three cows. He had to pay for the other two cows before he could take it. I played a trick. I kept the smallest one, which ate the least.”

　　The farmer was furious. He raised his crutch and was about to beat her as he had warned her. Suddenly he put it down and said, “You are the stupidest person on earth created by God. I feel sorry for you .

I will go to the road and wait for three days and three nights to see if I can find someone stupider than you. If there is such a person, then you don’t have to be punished, but if I don’t find him, you have to accept the reward you deserve without any discount.”

　　He went out to the main road and sat on a stone and waited. After a while he saw a farmer’s ox cart coming towards him. A farmer’s woman was standing in the middle of the cart, not sitting on the haystack beside her or leading the ox.

The farmer thought, “This must be the person I’m looking for.” He jumped up and ran back and forth in front of the ox cart like a crazy person.

　　”What do you want, my friend?” the woman asked him. “I don’t know you. Where do you come from?”

　　”I have fallen from the sky,” the farmer replied. “I have no way to get back. Can you take me back in your cart?”

　　”No,” said the woman, “I don’t know the way. If you really came from heaven, you could tell me what happened to my husband, who has been there three years ago. Are you sure you have seen him?”

　　”Oh, yes, I have seen him, but they are not very well off there. He is tending sheep, and it is a very hard and busy job. They run about the hills and get lost all over the country, and he has to follow them to keep them from getting separated.

His clothes are all torn, and they will soon become unwearable. There are no tailors there, and St. Peter won’t let them in. You have heard the story.”

　　”Who could have thought of that?” the woman began to cry. “I tell you, I want to get him his Sunday suit. It’s still hanging in the closet at home. He can wear it and look more respectable. Please, take it to him.”

　　”That’s not easy,” the farmer replied seriously. “People don’t allow clothes to be brought into heaven. They are confiscated at the gate.”

　　”Well, listen carefully,” said the woman, “I sold my wheat yesterday for a good price, and I want to give him the money. If you hide the wallet in your pocket, no one will know you have money with you.”

　　”If you have no other options,” the farmer agreed, “I will do you a favor.”

　　”Just sit here and don’t move,” she said. “I’m going home to get my wallet and will be right back. I won’t sit on the haystack. I’ll stand on the cart. It will be lighter and the cows can save some effort.”

　　She drove off in the cart, and the farmer thought, “This woman is a complete fool. If she had brought the money, my wife would have been lucky. She would have been spared a beating.”

　　Not long after, she hurried back with the money, and she put the money into his pocket with her own hands. She was very grateful for his generosity until they parted ways.

　　When the woman returned home, she met her son coming back from the fields. She told him what had happened to her, and then said, “I am so glad I had the opportunity to give something to my poor husband. Who would have thought that he would be in need of clothes in heaven?”

　　The son was filled with amazement. “Mother,” he said, “it’s not every day that someone comes down from heaven like this. I’m going to go and see if he’s still there. He must tell me what heaven is like and how the work is done there.”

　　He saddled his horse and rode off at full speed. He saw the farmer sitting under a willow tree and was about to count the money in his bag. “Did you see that man who fell from heaven?” the young man shouted to him.

　　”Yes,” answered the farmer, “he is on his way back, to the hill which is nearer; and if you ride faster you may catch up with him.”

　　”Alas,” said the young man, “I have been working all day, and I am exhausted after riding here. Since you know the man, I would like you to ride my horse and chase him back.”

　　”Aha!” The farmer was delighted. “Here comes another brainless person!”

　　”How can I not help?” After saying this, he mounted his horse and rode away.

　　The young man waited until dark, but the farmer still didn’t come back.

　　”The man from heaven must be very anxious and will not come back,” he thought. “No doubt the farmer asked him to take the horse to my father as well.”

　　He returned home and told his mother what had happened, and said he had taken the horse to his father so that he wouldn’t have to run around so often.

　　”You did a good job,” she praised, “Your legs are younger than his, you can walk.”

　　The farmer returned home, put the horse next to the cow that was used as collateral, and then went to his wife and said, “Terina, you are lucky.

I found two more fools than you. Even if you escape this time, you don’t have to be beaten. But I have to save it for next time.”

　　Then he lit his pipe, sat in his grandfather’s chair, and said proudly: “It’s a good deal to exchange two skinny cows for a shiny, fat horse and a big bag of money. If stupidity can often be exchanged for so much money, I would rather respect stupidity.”

　　This is what the farmer thinks, so you must prefer simple-minded people.